Holding a Hand for the First Time
Last summer my father passed away. It was a difficult time for me as I know it is for any of you who have a dying parent or who have lost a loved one. I did a lot of journaling during that time and I share the passage below with you in hope that it inspires you to embrace the difficult feelings of grief. My wish is that you may process and won the feelings you turn away from - that you allow them to flow through you - not get struck inside you and fester. That is how we have freedom. Namaste.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Last night I held a hand for the first time. Indeed throughout my life I have held many hands - extending myself to help, reaching for comfort, joining in an act of love. But last night I held the hand of a man who knows he is dying and it felt like we were the only two people in the world.
My father is the epitome of grace, leadership, and strength. At the end of his life all of these qualities still stand in spite of a failing body. I coach and train on mindfulness, the silent virtues of this which spoke out loud and clear in this moment. As he drifted off to sleep I stroked his hand, frail yet periodically gripping mine in a, “I know you are here and I am glad you are” way.
Through the open window I heard children playing as the sun set and a street light turned on. Here was the hand that held mine in this house when I was sick; the hand that was always there for me no matter what I needed; the hand that now I was profoundly honored to hold as dearly as I will hold that memory all of my life.
I am absolutely certain that if I had not practiced a mindful life I could very easily have pulled away. It is excruciating to watch someone you love suffer; their skin dry and cracked, their face grimacing, their breathing laborious. I could feel fear tugging at my heart – fear for his pain and fear for my own vulnerability in losing him, feeling alone or this happening to me. Yet I leaned closer to him because the intimacy of being there for each other did nothing but ease both our pain and profoundly unite us as one.
And that was everything. It was all that needed to be.
It was a moment I hold alive in my memory forever. Grateful. Profoundly grateful for having this icon of a man as my father. And for the privilege to hold his hand.
Wishing you the ability to lean in to vulnerability so that you may hold a hand today.
Wishing you the ability to lean in to vulnerability so that you may hold a hand today.
~~~~~~~~~
If mindful practices, career planning and good goal setting are important to you, check out my video where I walk you through how to get a new job or promotion >>> Three Ways to Move to the Next Level in Your Career Right Now.
You can always read my latest column for The Ladders - the $100,000+ job site >>> click here.
Your coach,
Mary Lee
P.S. Feel free to forward this link to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life.
Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and 18-year corporate CEO who helps leaders have more effective careers, happier lives and better relationships. Get her FREE Career and Life Planning Tool to be more effective, the leader everyone wants to work for and have a better connection with the people who matter while it still matters. If you don't know where you will be at the end of 2018, you are already there.
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
Stay connected with news and updates!
Recent Posts