Working Harder is Not the Answer
Do you think that working harder is the answer?
It sure is the way most of us worked our way to management roles - be really good at what you do and do it better and faster than others so leaders will notice.
Then they make you manager and you realize that the skills that got you here aren’t working. Being really good at your area of expertise isn’t enough.
So, you just work harder. Yet nothing changes.
Except now, you have an underperformer on your team who is bringing the median down, people aren’t showing up on time, there’s a lack of enthusiasm at meetings and the work pace has slowed.
Things only get worse. You are non-confrontational and avoid conversations that you don’t know how to have. You’re worried that your boss is noticing productivity. Your family is noticing that you are distant and irritable. Even when you’re home all you think about is work. You’re not sleeping or exercising and your desk drawer is filled with snacks....
I'm Invisible! - And Special Discount Until December 17th
Things are not working out in your job or in your personal life the way you had hoped. You're misunderstood and feeling ineffective, undervalued, and disregarded. People don't take you seriously. You are worried you don’t have the emotional intelligence, executive presence and influence to be a true leader. You’ve noticed your personal relationships are disjointed, too.
You’ve taken trainings, have met with mentors, sponsors and advocates and read all the books. You are working as hard as possible – to the detriment of your personal life. Others are more effective, liked better and advancing. While you’ve hit some goals, your forward momentum has plateaued. You aren’t getting noticed and you don’t have the personal freedom you desire. You feel invisible. You’re afraid this might be permanent.
You are not irrelevant. You are just unseen right now.
You’re convinced that you’re overwhelmed and...
Youā€™re Not Feeling Joy
It’s the holiday season. Our culture tells us it is the most joyous time of the year. Yet many are suffering grief, loss, stress, work challenges, and anxiety.
I’m in the process of buying a new house and feel a little overwhelmed about cleaning out my current house. “Where will I put everything? There’s so much to go through.”
I’ve made a conscious decision not to turn away from these thoughts and feelings but to get curious about them. They’re telling me that life sometimes requires doing hard things. I’m good at doing hard things.
Then I remember how grateful I am for my husband who is very organized and a minimalist. It makes room for me to be excited about this next chapter of our lives in a beautiful space.
Your greatest superpower is your self-awareness and your ability to give yourself compassion when you need it - as you would a small child or a puppy.
Take a walk and break down exactly what your emotions are.
Set aside...
You're Doubting Yourself AND A Special Offer!
Dear {{first_name}},
You’re a leader in a high performing role but deep down you understand that emotional intelligence and clarity are critical to your success. You’ve started to doubt yourself. You feel you don’t have a clear career path and feel you need more executive presence for greater influence and efficacy.
You’ve noticed your relationships are frayed, you’re resentful, you’re not sleeping well and other healthy habits have gone by the wayside too.
Here is what I know to be true:
- When you have the humility to see yourself honesty you free yourself to be a more powerful leader.
- When you stop focusing on being right and start focusing on getting it right you take your leadership to a whole new level.
- The path you seek is directly in front of you. When you push aside the doubt, cynicism, bureaucracy and personal agendas so you can see it clearly.
- Sitting back and waiting for others to notice your value is...
Your 10 Step Career and Life Plan for 2024
After two decades as a CEO in various roles there are definitely distinct lessons I've learned over time from the challenges and successes I have experienced. I share these at this time of year because I know you may be thinking about the New Year. When we put thought into our actions we end up with results. When we let the year carry us without intention, we often end up disappointed.
Here are '10 Lessons from the Corner Office' and a link to a FREE tool to help you plan your career with intention in 2024.
- When we focus on what we have to give instead of what there is to get we realize our value.
- When we are curious and compassionate, we become servant leaders instead of command and control dictators.
- There is power in having your boss’s back. Find a way to do that or go somewhere you can. Don’t stay and poison yourself, your persona, and the culture.
- Good people leave organizations because of bad managers who don’t...
Do You See What Other People See in You?
“I don’t understand why I’m not getting promoted when I’m working harder than the people who are.”
Or
“I am not getting recognized for what I’m doing at work. I think it’s my age.”
Or
“I have a couple of team members who just won’t get their work done.”
I hear these a lot.
All of them have a common theme and a solution.
Common Theme: It’s difficult to improve a situation when you feel you don’t have any control over it or power to change it. This is the case in all these scenarios and most situations that frustrate us.
Solution: We all have a blind spot. When you grow your awareness of how you are being perceived by others, you gain power to self-regulate your behavior to show up more effectively and self-empowered. Then good management techniques make better sense, and you execute them freely.
It’s astounding what we don’t...
Half the Battle is Managing Your Own Ego
We all have an ego. It is our friend. It keeps us safe by scouting for danger. It’s why we aren’t extinct as a species. Humans are very good at protecting themselves.
Except mastodons and primitive tribes aren’t walking the earth today.
(I realize there are people in corporate cultures who may take exception to this.)
When we allow our ego to think doubt is danger, anxiety unfolds.
Worry is a symptom of anxiety.
Worry destroys peace and relationships.
Worry shows up as:
Distancing from people you care about
Shame
Intimidation
Insecurity
Playing small
Overcompensating
Assumptions
Victimhood
Expectations
Lack of purpose
No intention
Lack of intimacy
Confrontational
Here’s what it sounds like in your head:
“I better speak just so I can be noticed.”
“He always picks on me.”
“I don’t want to draw attention because what if I’m wrong?”
“I’ll never get a better job.”
“I don’t know what...
How to Find the Role That is Right for You
Clients often ask me how to find a role that is right for them. The solution is a two-part equation.
1 First, you must definitively know not only what you can do better than anyone else, but also who you are in the process so that you can position yourself for a role you’ll love in a way that the organization competes to keep or hire you. That takes focus. We work strategically on this before we even look at job opportunities.
2 Secondly, once that’s in place you have to know what you want in order to find a meaningful role in a great organization.
Characteristics of a Great Leadership Role:
1. A role where you have a decisive vision for what needs to be done, support to get the resources necessary for strategic execution, and the ability to build a cohesive team.
2. A culture that aligns with your personal values or the ability to create a culture that meets the needs of the changing workforce where lifestyle,...
Don't Use These Phrases
Recruiters hate it when cliché phrases appear in resumes.
1. “I know how to work hard”
2. “I work well under pressure”
3. “I work independently”
4. “I am effective at solving problems”
5. “I know how to work in a team”
6. “I am proactive”
7. “I am a good communicator”
8. “I’m good at listening”
9. “My writing skills are excellent”
10. “I’m enthusiastic”
Don’t TELL them. Find a way to SHOW them. Lace these themes through stories and measurable key accomplishments in your resume. Your opinion of yourself is subjective. Your results are facts.
If you enjoyed this information, you can get to know me more and learn more about my podcast - The Still Space Podcast. This is where my guests and I share fun and simple strategies to manage yourself so that you can show up the way you want in work, relationships and life and not default to past behaviors...
When You Are Uncertain
The opposite of uncertainty isn’t certainty, it’s self trust.
We lose certainty in the face of doubt. At our worst we misconstrue doubt as danger and anxiety robs us of peace, our genius and executive presence. Then we lose the trust of our colleagues and the people closest to us. Mostly, we lose belief in ourselves.
In this space everything seems to crumble.
You’ll never win the battle to control your future.
Never. Don’t tire yourself on this treadmill to nowhere.
Tell yourself, “I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know what the future holds.
“What I do know is that I trust I’ll be able to handle whatever happens. I trust I’ll have my best interests at heart.
”I trust I can be gentle with myself and strong against thoughts that don’t serve me. I trust being my best is enough.
”I trust myself, so I know I’ll be ok.”
If...