Do you think that working harder is the answer?
It sure is the way most of us worked our way to management roles - be really good at what you do and do it better and faster than others so leaders will notice.
Then they make you manager and you realize that the skills that got you here arenât working. Being really good at your area of expertise isnât enough.
So, you just work harder. Yet nothing changes.
Except now, you have an underperformer on your team who is bringing the median down, people arenât showing up on time, thereâs a lack of enthusiasm at meetings and the work pace has slowed.
Things only get worse. You are non-confrontational and avoid conversations that you donât know how to have. Youâre worried that your boss is noticing productivity. Your family is noticing that you are distant and irritable. Even when youâre home all you think about is work. Youâre not sleeping or exercising and your desk drawer is filled with snacks.
 Can we just step back and acknowledge that ...
Things are not working out in your job or in your personal life the way you had hoped. You're misunderstood and feeling ineffective, undervalued, and disregarded. People don't take you seriously. You are worried you donât have the emotional intelligence, executive presence and influence to be a true leader. Youâve noticed your personal relationships are disjointed, too.Â
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Youâve taken trainings, have met with mentors, sponsors and advocates and read all the books. You are working as hard as possible â to the detriment of your personal life. Others are more effective, liked better and advancing. While youâve hit some goals, your forward momentum has plateaued. You arenât getting noticed and you donât have the personal freedom you desire. You feel invisible. Youâre afraid this might be permanent.
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You are not irrelevant. You are just unseen right now.
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Youâre convinced that youâre overwhelmed and stressed. You say things to yourself like, âIf I could only get (this project finis...
Itâs the holiday season. Our culture tells us it is the most joyous time of the year. Yet many are suffering grief, loss, stress, work challenges, and anxiety.
Iâm in the process of buying a new house and feel a little overwhelmed about cleaning out my current house. đ âWhere will I put everything? Thereâs so much to go through.â
Iâve made a conscious decision not to turn away from these thoughts and feelings but to get curious about them. Theyâre telling me that life sometimes requires doing hard things. Iâm good at doing hard things.
Then I remember how grateful I am for my husband who is very organized and a minimalist. It makes room for me to be excited about this next chapter of our lives in a beautiful space.
đĽ Your greatest superpower is your self-awareness and your ability to give yourself compassion when you need it - as you would a small child or a puppy.
âď¸ Take a walk and break down exactly what your emotions are.
âď¸ Set aside time to write a letter to yourself from y...
Dear {{first_name}},
Youâre a leader in a high performing role but deep down you understand that emotional intelligence and clarity are critical to your success. Youâve started to doubt yourself. You feel you donât have a clear career path and feel you need more executive presence for greater influence and efficacy.
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Youâve noticed your relationships are frayed, youâre resentful, youâre not sleeping well and other healthy habits have gone by the wayside too.Â
Here is what I know to be true:
After two decades as a CEO in various roles there are definitely distinct lessons I've learned over time from the challenges and successes I have experienced. I share these at this time of year because I know you may be thinking about the New Year. When we put thought into our actions we end up with results. When we let the year carry us without intention, we often end up disappointed.
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Here are '10 Lessons from the Corner Office' and a link to a FREE tool to help you plan your career with intention in  2024.
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âI donât understand why Iâm not getting promoted when Iâm working harder than the people who are.â
 Or Â
âI am not getting recognized for what Iâm doing at work. I think itâs my age.â Â
Or Â
âI have a couple of team members who just wonât get their work done.â Â
I hear these a lot. Â
All of them have a common theme and a solution.Â
đĄ Common Theme: Itâs difficult to improve a situation when you feel you donât have any control over it or power to change it. This is the case in all these scenarios and most situations that frustrate us. Â
đĄ Solution: We all have a blind spot. When you grow your awareness of how you are being perceived by others, you gain power to self-regulate your behavior to show up more effectively and self-empowered. Then good management techniques make better sense, and you execute them freely. Â
Itâs astounding what we donât see in ourselves. Â
When I was a new leader, I assumed that all people worked with the same dedication that I did. When they didnât, I...
đ We all have an ego. It is our friend. It keeps us safe by scouting for danger. Itâs why we arenât extinct as a species. Humans are very good at protecting themselves.
đŚ Except mastodons and primitive tribes arenât walking the earth today.
(I realize there are people in corporate cultures who may take exception to this.) đ
đ¨ When we allow our ego to think doubt is danger, anxiety unfolds.
đ§ Worry is a symptom of anxiety.
đ Worry destroys peace and relationships.
Worry shows up as:
âĄď¸ Distancing from people you care about
âĄď¸ Shame
âĄď¸ Intimidation
âĄď¸ Insecurity
âĄď¸ Playing small
âĄď¸ Overcompensating
âĄď¸ Assumptions
âĄď¸ Victimhood
âĄď¸ Expectations
âĄď¸ Lack of purpose
âĄď¸ No intention
âĄď¸ Lack of intimacy
âĄď¸ Confrontational
Hereâs what it sounds like in your head:
đ¤ âI better speak just so I can be noticed.â
đ¤ âHe always picks on me.â
đ¤ âI donât want to draw attention because what if Iâm wrong?â
đ¤ âIâll never get a better job.â
đ¤ âI donât know what Iâll do in retirement so I better keep working.â
đ¤ âShould I be doing some...
Clients often ask me how to find a role that is right for them. The solution is a two-part equation. Â Â
1ď¸âŁ First, you must definitively know not only what you can do better than anyone else, but also who you are in the process so that you can position yourself for a role youâll love in a way that the organization competes to keep or hire you. That takes focus. We work strategically on this before we even look at job opportunities.
2ď¸âŁ Secondly, once thatâs in place you have to know what you want in order to find a meaningful role in a great organization.  Â
đĄCharacteristics of a Great Leadership Role:  Â
â 1. A role where you have a decisive vision for what needs to be done, support to get the resources necessary for strategic execution, and the ability to build a cohesive team. Â Â
â 2. A culture that aligns with your personal values or the ability to create a culture that meets the needs of the changing workforce where lifestyle, self-care and inclusion are priorities. Â Â
...Recruiters hate it when clichÊ phrases appear in resumes.
1. âI know how to work hardâ
2. âI work well under pressureâ
3. âI work independentlyâ
4. âI am effective at solving problemsâ
5. âI know how to work in a teamâ
6. âI am proactiveâ
7. âI am a good communicatorâ
8. âIâm good at listeningâ
9. âMy writing skills are excellentâ
10. âIâm enthusiasticâ
Donât TELL them. Find a way to SHOW them. Lace these themes through stories and measurable key accomplishments in your resume. Your opinion of yourself is subjective. Your results are facts.
If you enjoyed this information, you can get to know me more and learn more about my podcast - The Still Space Podcast. This is where my guests and I share fun and simple strategies to manage yourself so that you can show up the way you want in work, relationships and life and not default to past behaviors that leave you disappointed. The Still Space is where you learn to take an intentional moment to challenge habitual assumptions that hold you back with enl...
The opposite of uncertainty isnât certainty, itâs self trust.
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đ¨ We lose certainty in the face of doubt. At our worst we misconstrue doubt as danger and anxiety robs us of peace, our genius and executive presence. Then we lose the trust of our colleagues and the people closest to us. Mostly, we lose belief in ourselves.
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đ In this space everything seems to crumble.
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đł Youâll never win the battle to control your future.
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đ Never. Donât tire yourself on this treadmill to nowhere.
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đĄTell yourself, âI donât know what will happen. I donât know what the future holds.
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đĄÂ âWhat I do know is that I trust Iâll be able to handle whatever happens. I trust Iâll have my best interests at heart.
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đ§đŞâI trust I can be gentle with myself and strong against thoughts that donât serve me. I trust being my best is enough.
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đâI trust myself, so I know Iâll be ok.â
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If this resonates with you and you feel unnoticed and undervalued at work, here is a link to my Be Seen - Be Heard - B...
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