How to Stop the Self-Sabotage
We advance when we’re willing to stretch ourselves further than anything we’ve ever done. But it’s prickly and sticky there. Risky. We might fail. Yes. Fail. Hmmm. And then what? Did we die? Get physically hurt? Lose anything of great measure? Likely not. But we do have our feelings to deal with. So we allow them. These two are the hardest:
1. Judgment from others.
2. Self-judgment.
What really holds us back is perceived judgment that comes from perceived failure - from practicing failure in our heads before it happens.
When we turn away from the discomfort of difficult emotions, unfortunately we armor up with self-sabotage traits of perfectionism, assumptions, comparisons, expectations, more judgment and busyness which only lead to exhaustion, hopelessness and disappointment.
When we notice the judgment and accept that “this is just me judging” without self-criticism (What is wrong with me that I can't stop doing this?) and that although it’s not our true north, judging-comparing-assuming is human nature. Here we can get curious about what is behind the judgment and just be with that feeling too. In the still space of self-reflection we realize that perceived limitations are just our imagination and we can move beyond them - stretch past them and see the horizon of intention and action.
Wishing you a stretch day today. You’ve got this.
If you are feeling age discrimination when your company should be putting your expertise to good use or when you are seeking a new role, this link to the strategies I share with my clients might help >>> 10 Tips When You Fear Age Bias
If you are struggling with uncertainty and feel exhausted and ineffective watch my FREE Training on Three Ways to Move to the Next Level In Your Career Right Now to 1) identify the right role for you, 2) position your transferable skills and 3) create a career portfolio that sells you before you even get an interview. If you don't know where you will be at the end of the year, you are already there.
* NOTE * Are you tired of the work treadmill to nowhere? Are you working hard while others get promoted? Is the disappointment affecitng your personal life? Now might be the right time to work with me on your leadership, executive presence and career goals. Don't wait until you are in crisis or have allowed too much negativity to set in, hijacking your power and your future. I have a short career survey that helps me understand your situation and if I can help you. Then if you're interested in coaching, we can get on a call to discuss. Get the short career survey here so we can discuss if coaching is a good fit. I am happy to show you what you can expect and enjoy with this transformation. Request they survey now.
Your coach,
Mary Lee
P.S. Feel free to forward this email to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life looking for a hand to hold. Sometimes we must be the hand that reaches out. www.MaryLeeGannon.com
Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and 19-year corporate CEO who helps leaders have more effective careers, happier lives and better relationships. Request the short career survey here.
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