It's Their Fault
Reflecting on what I’ve learned from the clients I have the privilege to work with. Human behavior has always fascinated me. I’ve studied it for years. It’s amazing how we can repeat patterns over and over and don’t see the regularity of them as we continue to victimize ourselves by externalizing the origin of our unrest.
“It’s their fault.” “This is so unfair.” “Why does this always happen to me?” “Only I get treated this way.” “This is never going to change.”
Strong people who are uncomfortable enough with the unrest of failing relationships, lack of career advancement, poor sleep and health habits and frustration with a stagnant life commit to do something about it.
But if that commitment isn’t a look inside themselves they’re just busying themselves with change for the sake of change on the treadmill to nowhere. Then when nothing changes not only are they unhappy, now they are exhausted and self-defeated because they think something is wrong with them.
Nothing is wrong with them. They just haven’t been taught how to challenge their perceptions.
Courageous people have humility. They ask themselves difficult questions to unravel assumptions from the truth. They own their choices - good and bad. They discern expectations from goals. They don’t tie their identity to an outcome but rather fashion it to mastery. They listen more than they speak. They lead with a strong back and a soft belly. They’d rather get it right than be right. They know how to regain and grow their power.
Today I applaud my clients for turning inward to their less effective choices to see their patterns (we ALL have them) and for knowing that perfectionism is just an excuse to avoid fear. Awareness and self-regulation give power to create a life by design. For committing to what you want and drawing healthy boundaries around it to preserve it. For sticking with the practices that reroute flawed beliefs and limiting perceptions to a revitalized careeer, life and relationships.
You inspire me. Bravo!
If you are feeling age discrimination when your company should be putting your expertise to good use, this link to the strategies I share with my clients might help >>> 10 Tips When You Fear Age Bias
If you are struggling with uncertainty and feel exhausted and ineffective watch my FREE Training on Three Ways to Move to the Next Level In Your Career Right Now to 1) identify the right role for you, 2) position your transferable skills and 3) create a career portfolio that sells you before you even get an interview. If you don't know where you will be at the end of the year, you are already there.
Your coach,
Mary Lee
P.S. Feel free to send this link to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life looking for a hand to hold. Sometimes we must be the hand that reaches out.
Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and 19-year corporate CEO who helps leaders have more effective careers, happier lives and better relationships. Request a free consultation call.humility
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