Why You're Failing at Embracing Your Success
If you ask the average person what they are most afraid of they will likely tell you something regarding failure – “I’ll make a mistake and embarrass myself.” “I won’t get picked.” “I will not pass the test.” “I will mess up and get fired.” “They won’t like me.”
Could You be Afraid of Success?
As humans we are wired to protect ourselves from danger with a negativity bias. This is how we have survived as a species. We are always scouting for threat. Except today it is not likely that a Mammoth will trample us so this fight-or-flight bias often does not serve us well. And sometimes the threat we fear isn’t even failure. Sometimes it can actually be the unknown consequences of success.
ARGHHH you say.
Not you.
You can’t wait for the Holy Grail of career success, romance, a thin waste, a beach house, or if you live in Pittsburgh – two sunny days in a row to arrive. Stay with me for a moment. You may have set your sites on a top tier graduate school, sharpened your networking skills, applied for an executive promotion, or built the groundwork for your own business and all of a sudden good things start happening quickly and you can’t believe it. The snowball of success is picking up momentum. Is this really happening? After all, it never was supposed to be easy. Was it? OH MY GOSH! THIS COULD REALLY HAPPEN!
The voice in your head starts firing off head trash. “Don’t go too fast. Slow it down. Put up the guard. Play it safe. Don’t risk. Success will bring more stress. My life wasn’t really that bad before. How will I manage it all? Too much will be expected of me. Everything will change. Success won’t last. I don’t even want to get excited about this. What will I do next?”
And then the big, hairy, smelly, gremlin of peril sashays in, hijacks your joy and sabotages your mojo. “Oh well,” you say. “Nothing ever works out anyway.” Game over.
I have a substitute scenario for you. Try this. Let’s start over after the THIS COULD REALLY HAPPEN part.
The voice in your head starts up and you notice it.
You observe what is telling you from a third party perspective like a fly on the wall and say to yourself, “This is what it’s like to feel afraid of what I don’t know.”
Accepting fear of the unknown – now there’s a concept.
You continue with, “Maybe I need to investigate this a little more.” (In the background the head trash is trying to elbow its venomous doubt into this sanctuary of curiosity but it is getting nowhere because you sense it yet are more curious about the unknown and invite it to be curious with you.)
You ask yourself what about the unknown might actually be pleasant. You’re not sure. You start to imagine yourself right smack dab in the middle of a GREAT life, career, romance, beach, sunshine at a Pirates game where the owner actually wants to win. You hear people talking about how great it is to work with you. You taste chocolates given to you by your new love. You feel the sand between your toes at the beach. You bite into a Primanti Brothers sandwich and feel the slaw run down your hand.
“Wow!” you say. “I can enjoy this. This is the life.”
Believe it or not, people often gear up their whole lives for success and don’t actually know how to receive it. ‘Receiving’ is the crowning glory of the success trifecta.
Why You're Failing at Embracing Your Success? You are missing the trifecta of success!
1. ASK – This is more than setting goals. This means you set goals and then actually believe they will happen. This means you talk about your anticipated success, you write about it, and you dream about it. Essentially, you are asking the world to send it your way because you believe you are ready and worthy of it. And you will honor it with dignity and your best. You can’t be at your best if you don’t believe you are ready to be there. You know you will give back ten-fold what you receive.
2. ACT – This is more than work ethic. This means you work smart. It means you challenge yourself to examine your motives behind your goals, your intentions/promises to yourself, your humility to stand naked with your vulnerability and say, “yeah, I am not perfect and need not always be right.” You recreate your goals on the fly as new information presents itself. You are not married to outcome. You are married to making a difference and that may mean starting over.
3. RECEIVE – This is more than hard work paying off. This is where you welcome your whole life from the 30,000 foot level and not just looking at your life from 30 feet above your home and office. You welcome in that your life will change, people will be affected and situations may be altered. You’re not quite sure how. But you are open because you feel the heartfelt tug of excellence without compromising compassion. The pulse of greatness summons you. The world is changing because of your influence. As alignment falls into place on your new road to success you know there will still be potholes. None are too deep for you. None are lined with quick sand. You have long legs. You’ll figure it out. You feel at home with significance. You matter.
Wishing you the courage to matter today. Go ahead. You’re amazing!
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