When Someone You Love is Dying and It Makes You Uncomfortable
I have a client who is struggling with the impending death of her father. Watching someone you love suffer and decline is excruciatingly painful. You want to help but you can’t. You want to escape the struggle with your own mortality but you can’t. And family members commence friction with each other that was never there before.
There is no textbook on how to deal with a dying parent but one book I recommend made a big difference for me in shepherding my children through the death of their father. It’s called The Four Things That Matter Most.
We can’t change the fact that we all will die someday. None of us are getting out of this alive. But we can be alongside someone who is dying. It is enough. We need not fill the silence with chatter. We need not feel inadequate because we can’t fix things or afraid of the human process. Embrace acceptance. Death is part of life. Being there is enough. “I can’t change this for you but may I just be with you.” In the calmness of those moments as you stroke her hair or hold his hand is where we can say the four things that matter most: 1) I love you. 2) Thank you. 3) I forgive you. And 4) Please forgive me.
Wishing you acceptance of the cycle of life and the fulfillment of being present for others and yourself in every moment.
Here is a tip sheet on how to find that Pause Cafe moment where you can accept yourself and the situation no matter what the circumstance. The Pause Café takes practice. Sometimes it works better than others but cumulatively your composure improves as you consistently work to eradicate your fight-or-flight response with this mindful strategy. The mind is like a muscle. It builds with practice.
Perfection is not the goal. Peace and efficacy are far more important. No judgment of yourself or others. Everyone is doing the best they can.
Do you want to have mindfully grounded peace in your life AND advance in your career yet it just isn't happening? Do you feel exhausted on the treadmill to nowhere? Watch my new FREE Training on Three Ways to Move to the Next Level In Your Career Right Now to 1) mindfully relax and identify the right role for you, 2) position your transferable skills to be identified as a sought after leader and 3) create a career portfolio that sells you before you even get an interview. If you don't know where you will be in a year you are already there.
Your coach,
Mary Lee
P.S. Feel free to send this link to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life.
Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an International Coach Federation certified executive coach and 18-year corporate CEO who helps busy executive leaders swap the treadmill to nowhere for a new career, promotion, higher pay, confidence, calm and better connection with the people who matter while it still matters. View testimonials from her career transformation mavens and FREE career tools at www.MaryLeeGannon.com
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