Six Steps When You've Internalized Their Bad Behavior to be About You
So often we internalize people’s negative behavior toward us as something wrong with us. If your uncertain about someone's pensive perspective on you follow these steps.
1. Schedule a meeting with the other person with the purpose of creating a better working or personal relationship. Do not handle this through email.
2. Tell her you hope you are wrong yet you sense judgment from her. Ask him what you could do to improve the relationship.
3. Listen for opportunities for self-improvement. Ask her what she believes her role is in aligning the relationship.
4. If after you have done this her behavior doesn’t change, she doesn't own her part in the misalignment or she won’t even meet with you it’s time to let go of your expectations of her. Unrest always lies in expectations. Having them is useless and out of your control. Goals you can affect are far better.
5. Release your desire for a healthy relationship with him and start managing him like a difficult person. The relationship may become transactional. That’s ok if it facilitates what needs to be done.
6. The question then becomes - What do you need to do to successfully work with her yet remain emotionally detached?
Do you want to advance in your career, have healthy relationships and executive presence yet it just isn't happening? Do you feel exhausted on the treadmill to nowhere? Watch my new FREE Training on Three Ways to Move to the Next Level In Your Career Right Now to 1) identify the right role for you, 2) position your transferable skills and 3) create a career portfolio that sells you before you even get an interview. If you don't know where you will be at the end of 2018, you are already there.
Your coach,
Mary Lee
P.S. Feel free to send this link to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life.
Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an International Coach Federation certified executive coach and 18-year corporate CEO who helps busy executive leaders swap the treadmill to nowhere for a new career, promotion, higher pay, confidence, calm and better connection with the people who matter while it still matters. View testimonials from her career transformation mavens and FREE career tools at www.MaryLeeGannon.com
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