16 Big Impact Ways to Give a Gift that Costs You Nothing
If you've been to the grocery store this time of year you know that it is either the holiday season or Armageddon. You're buying things you don't usually use. (When is the last time you bought fresh sage?) You're doing mini makeovers of your home decor. (That old rug never looked so bad.) And you're hoping the discussion at dinner doesn't turn to politics.
I invite you right now to shift your perspective from holiday expectations to what the holiday season is truly about. Love. Yes, Love. Not present giving. Just love. Even at work. It may not be appropriate for you to give a substantively large gift to someone at work. Your time is more valuable than anything you can buy. How will you demonstrate the tenets of love to everyone in your work and personal life? How will you extend compassion, patience, consideration, listening, understanding?Â
16 Big Impact Ways to Give a Gift that Costs You NothingÂ
- Offer to help a colleague with a project on which they have been struggling.
- Atten ...
11 Reso-YOU-tions for Results in 2020
Would you take a trip without a map? Of course not. So why do you think you can create a New Yearâs resolution and get there just because you want to? The reason most resolutions fail is because they are simply notions centered on âgettingâ something and not grounded in your values - the root of what drives you. They arenât authentic and aligned.            Â
11 Reso-YOU-tions for Results in 2020Â
- Set and talk about goals. These are not resolutions. Write down your big goals for the year using the guideline âDoes this align with what is important to me?â Studies show that people who write down their intentions and talk about them reach them far more than those who donât.Â
- Use a daily planner or app to track daily activity toward that goal. Way of Life is the app I use for this. I also use a hard bound very pretty daily planner.Â
- Define WHAT you will let go of. Whatâs the head trash that inserts itself in your life every time you want to make a leap? Often my c ...
Hateful People at Work
I saw this license plate in front of me at a traffic light this morning while I was stopped in front of a church, talking on the phone with my daughter who is experiencing âmean girlâ behavior at work. I decided it was a sign đ and sent her the photo. (Also, it's not often that we see a car from North Dakota in Pittsburgh.)
Happy people donât hurt one another. Never lose your executive presence and get emotional with hateful people. They hate themselves far more than they hate you. Their internal barometer is far more angry than you could ever feel toward them. Donât become them. Donât defend against them. Youâll only look small. Smile and say, âHelp me understand what you mean by thatâ as you give yourself space to remember that youâve got this.
If you want more executive presence tips hereâs a link to my FREE report:Â 31 Success Practices for Leaders in the High Stakes Corporate WorldÂ
Your coach,
Mary LeeÂ
P.S. Feel free to forward this email to someone who...
At first I didnt believe this.
At first I didn't believe this graphic. Be careful how you interpret your responsibility for an unhappy personâs environment. I do believe as leaders we have to nurture our team culture and provide a safe place for mistakes to happen without shame. I believe we must encourage and be accepting. But when someone is stuck and their behavior is disrespectful and uncalled for boundaries are necessary. We donât own or placate someone elseâs bad behavior or it just enables more bad behavior. If we constantly need to rescue someone from themselves by making excuses for them or declaring that others do the same and cater to them weâll be rescuing and enabling for a very long time. And the person being rescuedâs behavior will only get worse as will their unhappiness.
Itâs not our job to fix the flower. Itâs our job to create boundaries around what we will and will not allow for ourselves. We canât change them. Only our own behavior. That creates a healthier environment for everyone.
If you wan...
Get Unstuck
You know that head trash that keeps you up at night - Iâll never find the right job - Iâm getting old - He doesnât like me - I am stressed from work - She doesnât love me - Iâm not smart enough? Self-inquiry questions start the journey to clear a path through mind clutter for clarity:Â
Who am I?
What do I want?
What is my purpose?
How can I serve?
What am I grateful for?
This self-inquiry brings awareness of what is true to you - the open soul, free of assumptions and expectations.Â
You are not your thoughts, experiences, sensations. You are the observer of them - free of them whether positive or negative.Â
Donât fake positive thinking. That is artificial. Youâve undoubtedly seen people trying too hard to be positive. âI can handle this. It will be fine,â when they really feel exhausted and defeated. Pretending only makes you more stressed. Admit and be curious about how you feel without attaching any future or judgement to it. âThis is what itâs like to feel anxious. I wonder ...
Four Key Ways to Have Better Executive Presence
In todayâs hiring environment companies are screening not only for experience and attitude but for presence. Competency and grit are not enough. You must also have good internal and external self-awareness and self-regulation. In leadership positions that translates to executive presence.Â
Executive presence is a sense of being that indicate to others that you know what it takes to lead and be effective. It sends a commanding signal that you know how to harmonize your temperament, confidence, skillset and awareness to get the job done. You know when someone has it. And you know when they donât. The people who have it are the ones other people look to first.Â
Can executive presence be developed? Yes - if you have a baseline of self-confidence and a willingness to find ease when dealing with the unpredictable situations at the executive level.Â
Know What Executive Presence IsÂ
Qualities of Great Executive Presence:Â
- Curiosity
- Tenacity
- Certainty
- Poise
- Resourcefulness
- Positivit ...
Tips for Women to Bring Value at a Meeting
Women often do two things at meetings: Â
- Try too hard to be heard and in the process lose their credibility.
- Say nothing and become an nonentity in the conversation.
Both decrease their value. High performing women and men with executive presence have keen self-awareness. They anticipate their emotions, become a third party observer of them and allow them to pass like clouds before the emotions show. Â Â
Tips for women at a meeting:Â Â
- Watch three YouTube videos of speakers you admire. List what you like about their delivery, presence, voice, intonation, cadence, use of hands.
- Place your phone on a shelf and record yourself speaking. Listen to what you sound like. Observe your presence. Become familiar with what it is to have âcertaintyâ in your voice. Practice using a pause to make a point. Raise intonation on what is important.
- At a meeting know your role and where you bring value.
- Listen first. Process what others have to say.
- Introduce yourself before you speak if othe ...
Three Top Misconceptions That Halt Our Careers
This was me - utterly exhausted as a homeless welfare single mom of four children under seven-years-old, putting on that everything was ok. I felt judged, tired, and inadequate at almost everything. I was edgy, unhappy and anxious that I wasnât doing enough or being good enough. Â Â
Did I make time to take care of myself or remind myself that I am awesome as is with all my imperfections? No way. No time. I just kept surviving and wearing myself down while pretending I was superwoman. I wore busyness like a badge of honor.
As I look back now I see that this treadmill to nowhere left me not only stuck but exhausted. I already had everything I needed to go from food stamps to where I am today - CEO of a $24 million organization, a mom, employee, friend, leader and wife. I just needed to slow down enough to be gentle with myself. I needed to release my need to be perfect which had become a shield for shame. I began to accept that I deserved all that is good and quit expecting myself and o...
Thinking About Death
Since my father died a year+ ago I have thought a lot about death - why are we here, my own mortality, suffering, how to maximize each day with meaning and connection. In the end Iâve realized that life is precious and the only thing we are guaranteed is this very moment. When I was early in my career I used to worry about what people thought. Now I try to pay more attention to my own actions and behaviors. That has built my confidence, and efficacy.
I guess for me the point of life is love. To love and to be loved. At work that means being a servant leader and to be revered. Not to achieve or get anything. When I stay in that perspective I feel what it is to live.
WIshing you a vibrant day today.
If you are ready to get off the treadmill to nowhere and have peace, confidence, executive presence, career advancement and high performance in the face of challenges, personal agendas, cynicism and bureaucracy request a free consultation call to see if coaching is a good fit to help you g...
Their Ego Versus Your Ego in the Executive Office
You know that leader who annoys you more than anyone else â the one you canât believe got to their level? He likely has a primitive and impulsive ego that needs to be repeatedly reminded of how wonderful he is to feel good about himself or heâll erupt, pout, manipulate or control. Inside is a little child screaming for attention who feels very unsafe. When that child gets triggered to feel the feelings she desperately tries to avoid, her behavior turns hurtful and dangerous. Sheâs tired â exhausted from the lack of self-acceptance that haunts her. Heâs shattered at the thought that someone might actually discover how unworthy he is. Unconscious defense mechanisms are deployed. And worse yet, without mindful self-awareness she might not even realize any of this. So, she keeps putting on the take-no-prisoners exterior, feeling less than enough, drained and victimized. Sad.Â
Donât engage. They are in the fight-flight-or-flee mode of a scared child. They will be meaner or more manipulativ...