Undoing the Wicked Toll of Comparing Yourself to Others
Recently I listened to a client who is struggling in her marriage discuss how difficult it is to watch other happily married couples. I understand the feeling. I spent a lot of time in my first marriage wishing I had what others had and comparing myself to them as well as enabling bad behavior by making excuses for him. Then my third child was born with a developmental disability and I used to sit at playgrounds comparing her to other children while somewhat insensitively pushing her and her therapists like machines because I became so outcome focused.Â
What I realized is that when we compare our lives to others and grasp at what isnât ours we lose sight of all the good things we do have and this strips our fulfillment. This âless thanâ focus keeps us from letting go of what boundary maven Dr. Henry Cloud calls ânecessary endingsâ to allow for things to bloom in our lives. A healthy rose bush needs to be pruned for new buds to grow. If not, scraggly stems shoot out in all directions b...
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