The Success Story
I have a client in Silicon Valley who Iâm very proud of today. She is smart, well educated, successful and came to me to grow her self-worth to show up differently at work and in life. She was struggling in relationships with people who were close to her. I felt the pain of her suffering. I felt her despair at how some people treated her. It made me sad.Â
We worked on healthy boundaries. We worked on self-awareness. We worked on defining her values and her vision of a life in alignment with them. We worked on mindful daily practices that help her self-regulate fear. We worked on being with discomfort long enough to see that it wouldnât overtake her because itâs only her imagination. We worked on self-acceptance with all her imperfections. We worked more on boundaries.Â
We did not work on her being better than anything or anyone. We didnât work on what she didnât deserve. We didnât work on why change would be better.Â
We worked on her re-discovering her. In that space she made decisi...
Every Leader Should Be Required to Read this Book
Every leader should be required to read this book I read on a recent trip to Greece. Spiritual and political power are not mutually exclusive. Imagine if business schools taught that the more compassionate you are the more effective leader you are.Â
Or the power of The Five Spiritual Powers: 1) FAITH (better translated as confidence and trust); 2) DILIGENCE to practice not watering the seeds of anger, fear, hate, despair but to replace and water seeds of joy, peace and happiness; 3) MINDFULNESS to recognize things as they are without projecting bias so emotion can pass; 4) CONCENTRATION on the reality that nothing is permanent so value this moment, unhappiness is born from discrimination between self and others, and that everyone is interconnected; 5) INSIGHT where we realize that all of our suffering can be avoided by living the previous four powers.Â
As you cultivate these FIVE POWERS you naturally acquire the power of leadership because people flock to you for advice and influence...
Mean Leaders and Executive Presence
Iâve never understood why overbearing people think they have power. Itâs obvious they donât. Nobody trusts them or authentically has their back. They are always exhausted trying to make themselves look good at otherâs expense. Their insecurities reek in their behavior. And their leadership has no sustainable affect because the people they play to are the first ones off the ship when it starts to go down. Â
If you canât achieve your goals without manipulating, controlling, condescending to, backstabbing, and intimidating other people along the way youâre weak and you will ultimately fail. Period. Iâve seen it in corporate America time and time again. It may not be right away. But it will happen. And your legacy will precede you everywhere you go after that.Â
The real problem with mean people is that they are intrinsically unhappy, insecure and have minimal self-awareness. The root feeling behind their behavior is anger coupled with an uncomfortable sadness they donât want to deal with...
How to Let Go
This week a very capable client was struggling with some of the work I am having her do around âdoubtâ and âletting go.â She said she âcame up blankâ on what she was angry about, what she can terminate right now, where she feels shame and what she feared. Â
Questioning our thoughts and feelings often uncovers that they are assumptions and not true at all. These questions help you get deeply into the thoughts and feelings that hold you back - keep you guarded, resentful or powerless. Nobody wants to face them. But, if we donât they chase us down the rest of our lives. Think of the last time you lashed out, withdrew, or quit something. What FEELING was at the heart of the behavior? I want you to be able to re-examine that feeling as to whether it is an assumption or really true. (This photo shows the process of finding the pause moment to accomplish this strategy.
She then shared that she does feel shame around weight and being judged as mean.
This is a very sound reason for shame. Mo...
The #1 Stress Reduction Practice
Dear {{first_name}},
Stress is nothing more than the stories we attach to reality. We all do it. Itâs leading from a fear perspective as opposed to a creator perspective. "I am going to fail." "They don't like me or what I am doing." "This tooth ache means I am going to need a root canal."
How do we stop attaching stories that are assumptions onto reality? By building our awareness around what triggers that leap to fast-forward our lives to a doom and gloom ending.Â
Notice it. Donât judge yourself for it. Call it out and name it. âThis is what it feels like to fear being judged.â And move on.
Wishing you a clearing of illumination today for without darkness there would be no light. Wishing you power.Â
Success is freedom. Not more hours.
Your coach,
Mary Lee
P.S. Money replenishes itself. Time does not.  Click here to request a call with me and let's talk about your situation.
Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAEÂ is an International Coach Federation certified executive coach and 18-year...
How to Let Go When Youâve Tried Everything Else
By nature we home into a negative bias. Itâs how weâve evolved as a species and not become extinct - by keeping ourselves safe. We are very good at noticing danger - so good that our âdanger antennaâ is primed more than our âhappiness antenna.â Â
So how do we break through this false-prison-comfort-zone we trap ourselves in?Â
Certainly not by pressing down the gas peddle on more of the same - complaining, blaming, victimizing, playing it safe. These are the very thoughts we need to let go of to take the risks that bring growth. Â
Deal with the things you run from. It is the only way to let them go. Yes, itâs hard. But if we donât admit what feeling is at the root of our pain it will bubble up each time that feeling you havenât accepted is triggered. You may have felt abandoned, rejected, dismissed, hurt. Whatever it is examine it. Donât turn away. âI feel dismissed and it hurt.â Get curios. Familiarize yourself with it. This disarms its power.
Then put the brakes on negative paraly...
The Seven Deadly Sins Leaders Commit That Hold Them Back
The Seven Deadly Sins is a group of vices within religious teachings that are known as excessive versions of one's natural faculties. Though identified by desert fathers in the third century as passions one needed to overcome, these shortcomings play out today in the workforce. And they can make you pretty scary to deal with.
- Pride that you are more capable than your employees. How gratifying is it to be dubbed âKing Know-It-Allâ when everybody hates your guts? When you make all the decisions and give continual directives it cuts off their independence and desire to take risks. Innovation suffers and disengagement grows. Hire good people and get out of their way.Â
- Sloth in your dedication to develop your personal growth and that of your team. You develop projects but how often do you develop your emotional intelligence? When was the last time you asked an employee, âWhere do you see yourself three years from now? What project would you like to develop?â What mindful routines do ...