Just Calm Down
Telling someone who is visibly upset to "Just calm down" is like saying, āJust stop overeatingā to someone who wants to lose weight. Intellectually, you know what you need to do yet your self-management skills arenāt keen enough to cease the behavior or the unresolved feeling. And quick fix advice such as ābe positiveā makes you feel worse because it denies the inadequacy you feel inside.Ā
I used to be more of what could have been labeled a ādistantā leader. Calming down was not my issue. Relatability was.
Three things changed that for me and for my clients struggling with how to manage emotions:
1) Allow them.
2) Be curious about them.
3) Be compassionate to yourself and others.
This wasnāt a quick fix. It was a repeated practice of continually taking myself through this exercise of self discovery which lead to self acceptance.
I was a single mother and only provider of four children who was stuck in survival mode. I neglected myself as I was taking care of everyone else. I had...
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