Working Harder is Not the Answer
Do you think that working harder is the answer?
It sure is the way most of us worked our way to management roles - be really good at what you do and do it better and faster than others so leaders will notice.
Then they make you manager and you realize that the skills that got you here aren’t working. Being really good at your area of expertise isn’t enough.
So, you just work harder. Yet nothing changes.
Except now, you have an underperformer on your team who is bringing the median down, people aren’t showing up on time, there’s a lack of enthusiasm at meetings and the work pace has slowed.
Things only get worse. You are non-confrontational and avoid conversations that you don’t know how to have. You’re worried that your boss is noticing productivity. Your family is noticing that you are distant and irritable. Even when you’re home all you think about is work. You’re not sleeping or exercising and your desk drawer is filled with snacks....
Don't Use These Phrases
Recruiters hate it when cliché phrases appear in resumes.
1. “I know how to work hard”
2. “I work well under pressure”
3. “I work independently”
4. “I am effective at solving problems”
5. “I know how to work in a team”
6. “I am proactive”
7. “I am a good communicator”
8. “I’m good at listening”
9. “My writing skills are excellent”
10. “I’m enthusiastic”
Don’t TELL them. Find a way to SHOW them. Lace these themes through stories and measurable key accomplishments in your resume. Your opinion of yourself is subjective. Your results are facts.
If you enjoyed this information, you can get to know me more and learn more about my podcast - The Still Space Podcast. This is where my guests and I share fun and simple strategies to manage yourself so that you can show up the way you want in work, relationships and life and not default to past behaviors...
An Invitation
This season, a lot of people reach out to me to ask about coaching because they are approaching the end of the year and they realize that not much has changed for them over the year. Nothing needs to change for you to be happy and satisfied in your life. Yet, sometimes we had hoped and even planned for things to be different, and it didn’t work out.
Below are a few links to help clarify the process of working with me to make it easy for you to decide what your New Year will hold.
People don't put off coaching because they don't believe it will work. They think that is the reason but it is not. They put off coaching because they don't believe in themselves and don't want to face more disappointment. This breaks my heart.
If you are sensing that this might be how you are feeling, here is a link to apply to work with me. Let’s get on a call to talk about what you want for your next six months. I'm looking forward to speaking with...
What Gives Us Hope
It’s interesting how much hope and wisdom comes from having lived a full life.
Yet often with all our accomplishments we feel we’ve missed something.
That we don’t know what it all amounts to.
That we’re not sure we have purpose to our lives.
That retirement means an ending.
That we won’t be relevant after a layoff.
That the best years of our lives are behind us.
These are thoughts.
They are assumptions based on flawed beliefs that grew out of emotions we turn away from such as…
Fear
Regret
Sadness
Anger
Frustration
Confusion
When we learn how to honor the emotion and break the perseverative cycle of defeating thoughts with a go-to personal practice the world opens.
My mother is in a nursing home. It scares me sometimes to visit her because in my grief for her condition I also have to admit that I worry if I’ll end up the same way.
I acknowledge how...
Can We Please Normalize PTO? (and Announcement!)
Can we all please normalize appreciating PTO. Arnie and I decided a long time ago that we have to be the ones to prioritize our wellbeing. We didn’t wait for retirement to get the beach house. We don’t wait for retirement to travel. We don’t wait for retirement to regularly visit our children out of town. We don’t wait for retirement to take up hobbies, new sports, creative endeavors, meet new friends. We don’t have a bucket list. We live it every day.
I've spent most of my career as an execuitive at hospitals all to often seeing people retire, think they're going to do everything they've been waiting their whole lives to do, and an illness stops them in their tracks. Don't wait. Scale your dreams to what is reasonable and live them now.
Arnie and I are both high achievers and realize that sometimes doing our best means reflecting on what’s in the way of that happening.
The American culture has convinced many people that the work...
Can We Please Normalize PTO?
Can we all please normalize appreciating PTO. Arnie and I decided a long time ago that we have to be the ones to prioritize our wellbeing. We didn’t wait for retirement to get the beach house. We don’t wait for retirement to travel. We don’t wait for retirement to regularly visit our children out of town. We don’t wait for retirement to take up hobbies, new sports, creative endeavors, meet new friends. We don’t have a bucket list. We live it every day.
I've spent most of my career as an execuitive at hospitals all to often seeing people retire, think they're going to do everything they've been waiting their whole lives to do, and an illness stops them in their tracks. Don't wait. Scale your dreams to what is reasonable and live them now.
Arnie and I are both high achievers and realize that sometimes doing our best means reflecting on what’s in the way of that happening.
The American culture has convinced many people that the work...
Five Things I Learned on My Family Vacation
Recently, my family was together for a summer vacation and get-together in my hometown. Some of my family live here. My oldest daughter and her husband and two children came to visit. Additionally, four of our other children who live here got together in some form with the group nearly every day over a 10-day timeframe. There was much laughter, deep conversations, some drama and a lot of love.
I was a little sad when everyone left to go home to their daily lives. I was a little surprised by some things that occurred last week and questioned why some things are the way they are. Mostly, I felt full - full of being loved and giving love. I will share how I got to this pace despite drama and how I stay there. Even if I wander off the path, I know how to get back on it to get home.
A long time ago I read the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and the advice always serves me well.
#1) Be impeccable with your word.
#2) Don't take anything personally.
#3)...
One Question
I have one question for you.
Are you where you want to be in your career and personal life?
If the answer is, "yes," go to the next thing that interests you.
If the answer is "not really" or "I don't even think about what I want anymore," then you might want to think try to understand what you might be missing in your leadership and your career search - what other people see that you do not.
It is kind of scary looking at yourself from a different perspective. That's ok. You've already done a lot of firsts in your life. So have I.
First time married First time divorced First time as a single mom of four children First time on welfare, food stamps, medical assistance, homeless and without an automobile First time committing to not be a victim, owning my life and being the role model my children need First CEO role I wasn’t qualified for on paper First time raising $10.4 million on the heels of the largest hospital bankruptcy in US history First time...
This Misconception Costs Careers, Relationships and Satisfaction
This image illustrates the fallacy that hard work leads to recognition and advancement. That accessories will make you feel important. That salary equals fulfillment.
These are merely coverings we lay over our desire to be valued when we don’t believe in ourselves.
At a certain level everyone is working hard, earns a reasonable wage and has a nice pen or handbag.
Hard work can turn into the treadmill to nowhere if it is your only career strategy or your escape from things that are not working.
Negotiating for salary without a tool belt of signature strengths, how you’ve applied them, your measurable key accomplishments, your value proposition in a new role and a timeline for delivery is far less effective.
And the stuff you buy is a great way to treat yourself as long as it isn’t how you make yourself feel good when you doubt yourself.
Everything on the bottom of this image comes from an internal sense of self-worth.
I see this in my clients. Society tells...
Important Discussions with Your Boss β Everything is a Negotiation
Often, I see clients put off important discussions with their bosses because they aren’t really sure how to structure them and fear they may come off as expecting too much and eventually feel rejected. This is unwise. A little preparation can earn you respect and what you want.
How to prepare for the meeting:
- Ask for a specific meeting date/time. This will underscore its importance. Don’t have the discussion after another meeting or as a sidebar conversation. Label the meeting something that is important to the organization – not yourself: ABC Company Priorities and (Your Department).
- What’s the goal? This meeting is not a discussion. You are not mind mapping here. It is a negotiation. Know what you want to occur by the end of the meeting: i.e., I will now spend my time working on important projects, not things that are randomly assigned to me. I have an idea on how to minimize those things and who is more appropriate to do them.
- Know your...