Working Harder is Not the Answer
Do you think that working harder is the answer?
It sure is the way most of us worked our way to management roles - be really good at what you do and do it better and faster than others so leaders will notice.
Then they make you manager and you realize that the skills that got you here arenāt working. Being really good at your area of expertise isnāt enough.
So, you just work harder. Yet nothing changes.
Except now, you have an underperformer on your team who is bringing the median down, people arenāt showing up on time, thereās a lack of enthusiasm at meetings and the work pace has slowed.
Things only get worse. You are non-confrontational and avoid conversations that you donāt know how to have. Youāre worried that your boss is noticing productivity. Your family is noticing that you are distant and irritable. Even when youāre home all you think about is work. Youāre not sleeping or exercising and your desk drawer is filled with snacks.
Ā Can we just step back and acknowledge that ...
I'm Invisible! - And Special Discount Until December 17th
Things are not working out in your job or in your personal life the way you had hoped. You're misunderstood and feeling ineffective, undervalued, and disregarded. People don't take you seriously. You are worried you donāt have the emotional intelligence, executive presence and influence to be a true leader. Youāve noticed your personal relationships are disjointed, too.Ā
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Youāve taken trainings, have met with mentors, sponsors and advocates and read all the books. You are working as hard as possible ā to the detriment of your personal life. Others are more effective, liked better and advancing. While youāve hit some goals, your forward momentum has plateaued. You arenāt getting noticed and you donāt have the personal freedom you desire. You feel invisible. Youāre afraid this might be permanent.
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You are not irrelevant. You are just unseen right now.
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Youāre convinced that youāre overwhelmed and stressed. You say things to yourself like, āIf I could only get (this project finis...
Your 10 Step Career and Life Plan for 2024
After two decades as a CEO in various roles there are definitely distinct lessons I've learned over time from the challenges and successes I have experienced. I share these at this time of year because I know you may be thinking about the New Year. When we put thought into our actions we end up with results. When we let the year carry us without intention, we often end up disappointed.
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Here are '10 Lessons from the Corner Office' and a link to a FREE tool to help you plan your career with intention in Ā 2024.
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- When we focus on what we have to give instead of what there is to get we realize our value.
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- When we are curious and compassionate, we become servant leaders instead of command and control dictators.
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- There is power in having your bossās back. Find a way to do that or go somewhere you can. Donāt stay and poison yourself, your persona, and the culture.
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- Good people leave organizations because of bad managers who donāt position them to learn and advance ...
Half the Battle is Managing Your Own Ego
š We all have an ego. It is our friend. It keeps us safe by scouting for danger. Itās why we arenāt extinct as a species. Humans are very good at protecting themselves.
š¦ Except mastodons and primitive tribes arenāt walking the earth today.
(I realize there are people in corporate cultures who may take exception to this.) š
šØ When we allow our ego to think doubt is danger, anxiety unfolds.
š§ Worry is a symptom of anxiety.
š Worry destroys peace and relationships.
Worry shows up as:
ā”ļø Distancing from people you care about
ā”ļø Shame
ā”ļø Intimidation
ā”ļø Insecurity
ā”ļø Playing small
ā”ļø Overcompensating
ā”ļø Assumptions
ā”ļø Victimhood
ā”ļø Expectations
ā”ļø Lack of purpose
ā”ļø No intention
ā”ļø Lack of intimacy
ā”ļø Confrontational
Hereās what it sounds like in your head:
š¤ āI better speak just so I can be noticed.ā
š¤ āHe always picks on me.ā
š¤ āI donāt want to draw attention because what if Iām wrong?ā
š¤ āIāll never get a better job.ā
š¤ āI donāt know what Iāll do in retirement so I better keep working.ā
š¤ āShould I be doing some...
When You Are Uncertain
The opposite of uncertainty isnāt certainty, itās self trust.
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šØ We lose certainty in the face of doubt. At our worst we misconstrue doubt as danger and anxiety robs us of peace, our genius and executive presence. Then we lose the trust of our colleagues and the people closest to us. Mostly, we lose belief in ourselves.
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š In this space everything seems to crumble.
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š³ Youāll never win the battle to control your future.
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š Never. Donāt tire yourself on this treadmill to nowhere.
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š”Tell yourself, āI donāt know what will happen. I donāt know what the future holds.
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š”Ā āWhat I do know is that I trust Iāll be able to handle whatever happens. I trust Iāll have my best interests at heart.
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š§šŖāI trust I can be gentle with myself and strong against thoughts that donāt serve me. I trust being my best is enough.
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šāI trust myself, so I know Iāll be ok.ā
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If this resonates with you and you feel unnoticed and undervalued at work, here is a link to myĀ Be Seen - Be Heard - B...
Don't Use These Phrases
Recruiters hate it whenĀ clichĆ© phrases appear in resumes.
1. āI know how to work hardā
2. āI work well under pressureā
3. āI work independentlyā
4. āI am effective at solving problemsā
5. āI know how to work in a teamā
6. āI am proactiveā
7. āI am a good communicatorā
8. āIām good at listeningā
9. āMy writing skills are excellentā
10. āIām enthusiasticā
Donāt TELL them. Find a way to SHOW them. Lace these themes through stories and measurable key accomplishments in your resume. Your opinion of yourself is subjective. Your results are facts.
If you enjoyed this information, you can get to know me more and learn more about my podcast - The Still Space Podcast. This is where my guests and I share fun and simple strategies to manage yourself so that you can show up the way you want in work, relationships and life and not default to past behaviors that leave you disappointed. The Still Space is where you learn to take an intentional moment to challenge habitual assumptions that hold you back with enl...
An Invitation
This season, a lot of people reach out to me to ask about coaching because they are approaching the end of the year and they realize that not much has changed for them over the year. Nothing needs to change for you to be happy and satisfied in your life. Yet, sometimes we had hoped and even planned for things to be different, and it didnāt work out.Ā
Below are a few links to help clarify the process of working with me to make it easy for you to decide what your New Year will hold.
People don't put off coaching because they don't believe it will work. They think that is the reason but it is not. They put off coaching because they don't believe in themselves and don't want to face more disappointment. This breaks my heart.Ā
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ā Ā If you are sensing that this might be how you are feeling, here is a link toĀ apply to work with me.Ā Letās get on a call to talk about what you want for your next six months. I'm looking forward to speaking with you.Ā Success is freedom. Not more hours.
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ā Ā If...
The Problem Behind the Problem
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What Gives Us Hope
Itās interesting how much hope and wisdom comes from having lived a full life.
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Yet often with all our accomplishments we feel weāve missed something.
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That we donāt know what it all amounts to.
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That weāre not sure we have purpose to our lives.
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That retirement means an ending.
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That we wonāt be relevant after a layoff.
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That the best years of our lives are behind us.
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ā”ļø These are thoughts.
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ā”ļø They are assumptions based on flawed beliefs that grew out of emotions we turn away from such asā¦
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Fear
Regret
Sadness
Anger
Frustration
Confusion
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š” When we learn how to honor the emotion and break the perseverative cycle of defeating thoughts with a go-to personal practice the world opens.
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š My mother is in a nursing home. It scares me sometimes to visit her because in my grief for her condition I also have to admit that I worry if Iāll end up the same way.
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ā I acknowledge how uncomfortable this makes me. If I get really curious instead of afraid I ...
Compassion is Hard When We Have Nothing Left to Give
Compassion is powerful. We all think we have it. And then we see something that makes us uncomfortable and we forget how to show it.
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š Iāve been paralyzed by this too. I had to work on how to feel, then demonstrate compassion when I had little of it for myself during a difficult divorce.
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š Lack of compassion shows up when someone close to you is grieving and you donāt know what to say or do so you avoid, when someone is suffering and you start wondering if their situation might happen to you, when you start comparing their situation to yours, when youāre frustrated that you canāt fix their situation, and when youāre so spent you donāt have anything left to give.
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š In all of these instances we make someone elseās suffering about us. Yes. Weāre in our own heads and not their pain.
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š³ At work and in life this can look like detachment, cold, unfeeling, self-consumed, and ambition driven.
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ā Compassion is an action. It is where you demonstrate your consideration and that y...