I'm Invisible! - And Special Discount Until December 17th
Things are not working out in your job or in your personal life the way you had hoped. You're misunderstood and feeling ineffective, undervalued, and disregarded. People don't take you seriously. You are worried you don’t have the emotional intelligence, executive presence and influence to be a true leader. You’ve noticed your personal relationships are disjointed, too.
You’ve taken trainings, have met with mentors, sponsors and advocates and read all the books. You are working as hard as possible – to the detriment of your personal life. Others are more effective, liked better and advancing. While you’ve hit some goals, your forward momentum has plateaued. You aren’t getting noticed and you don’t have the personal freedom you desire. You feel invisible. You’re afraid this might be permanent.
You are not irrelevant. You are just unseen right now.
You’re convinced that you’re overwhelmed and...
You're Doubting Yourself AND A Special Offer!
Dear {{first_name}},
You’re a leader in a high performing role but deep down you understand that emotional intelligence and clarity are critical to your success. You’ve started to doubt yourself. You feel you don’t have a clear career path and feel you need more executive presence for greater influence and efficacy.
You’ve noticed your relationships are frayed, you’re resentful, you’re not sleeping well and other healthy habits have gone by the wayside too.
Here is what I know to be true:
- When you have the humility to see yourself honesty you free yourself to be a more powerful leader.
- When you stop focusing on being right and start focusing on getting it right you take your leadership to a whole new level.
- The path you seek is directly in front of you. When you push aside the doubt, cynicism, bureaucracy and personal agendas so you can see it clearly.
- Sitting back and waiting for others to notice your value is...
Half the Battle is Managing Your Own Ego
We all have an ego. It is our friend. It keeps us safe by scouting for danger. It’s why we aren’t extinct as a species. Humans are very good at protecting themselves.
Except mastodons and primitive tribes aren’t walking the earth today.
(I realize there are people in corporate cultures who may take exception to this.)
When we allow our ego to think doubt is danger, anxiety unfolds.
Worry is a symptom of anxiety.
Worry destroys peace and relationships.
Worry shows up as:
Distancing from people you care about
Shame
Intimidation
Insecurity
Playing small
Overcompensating
Assumptions
Victimhood
Expectations
Lack of purpose
No intention
Lack of intimacy
Confrontational
Here’s what it sounds like in your head:
“I better speak just so I can be noticed.”
“He always picks on me.”
“I don’t want to draw attention because what if I’m wrong?”
“I’ll never get a better job.”
“I don’t know what...
When You Are Uncertain
The opposite of uncertainty isn’t certainty, it’s self trust.
We lose certainty in the face of doubt. At our worst we misconstrue doubt as danger and anxiety robs us of peace, our genius and executive presence. Then we lose the trust of our colleagues and the people closest to us. Mostly, we lose belief in ourselves.
In this space everything seems to crumble.
You’ll never win the battle to control your future.
Never. Don’t tire yourself on this treadmill to nowhere.
Tell yourself, “I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know what the future holds.
“What I do know is that I trust I’ll be able to handle whatever happens. I trust I’ll have my best interests at heart.
”I trust I can be gentle with myself and strong against thoughts that don’t serve me. I trust being my best is enough.
”I trust myself, so I know I’ll be ok.”
If...
When You Can't Let Go
You want to let go of that nasty, debilitating thought that gnaws at your peace, ambition and ability to show up for people you care about.
You try.
But doubt keeps weaseling itself back to the front of your mind and taking up more space every time it resurfaces.
You read self-help books.
You listen to podcasts.
You think about it a lot yet nothing changes.
You figure you’ll just work harder because that always worked before only now not only are you stuck, you’re exhausted. And people are distancing themselves from you.
You get hard on yourself because you can’t fix this.
You start to think there’s something wrong with you, that this will last forever and effect your relationships.
You notice that your are giving up hope.
The truth is…
The reason none of these things are working is two fold…
- The thing you think you need to let go of is likely not the root...
One Day You'll Realize
We become our worst critic when things start to go bad.
What if things weren’t going bad at all?
What if things were just happening on your road to figuring out what right path to take?
What if the way you relate to the difficult things that happen could change?
What if you believed everything you need you already have?
What if you had the courage to let all the drama of discord settle like snow in a snow globe?
What if what you see isn’t anything that you expected?
What if it was a little scary at first and you were ok with that?
What if what used to be chaos is now clarity?
That’s freedom.
You can’t be at your best when you are plagued with fatigue and defeat – when you aren’t fresh, innovative and excited.
I learned this the hard way. As a chief executive I got to a point where I ceased to be willing to subrogate my wellbeing for my career and learned a...
It's a Superpower
I have one distinct trait that stands out among everything I do.
I see people. I see their genius very clearly. And I can get to the root of what is in the way.
I've had this quality my entire life. It used to get me in trouble because I always asked a lot of questions. It's no surprise that after a long day in my CEO role I ended up coaching in the late afternoons and early evenings.
Sometimes people don't want to go into the dark corners of their lives. I'm fascinated by the dark corners because I know by experience how empty they are and that I can shed light there.
I see when someone has lost their magic. This is the saddest for me and is when I am especially attentive to someone’s pain.
I see when people are in their own way.
I see when ‘business’ has taken the place of acceptance.
I see a life change when someone shifts from resentment, aloneness, blaming and complaining to confidence, connection...
It's Ready! And I was wrong.
Hi Friend!
I’ve been coaching leaders of different titles and industries for 12 years. Over time I’ve witnessed common themes show up in almost everyone. Truthfully, I’ve seen them show up in myself as well.
We feel unrest in our careers. And it begins to spread to our personal lives.
We stop taking care of ourselves. We break from healthy routines such as exercise, eating healthy, a good night’s sleep.
We distance ourselves from the people we care about.
We stop seeing ourselves as top talent in our area of expertise.
We start to doubt our efficacy at all. We think there is something wrong with us. And then we see ourselves as small. In all aspects of our lives.
And then we show up small, perpetuating the very insidious doubt trap that hamstrings our happiness.
I know this well from having been a single mom on welfare food stamps, medical assistance, and homeless without an automobile at the end of my divorce. You...
A Special New Yearā€™s Message and Gift for You
Yes, it’s the week most people are doing the “what am I going to do in the new year?” struggle. We reflect on the past year and wonder, even worry sometimes, about what the plan will be for change in the new year.
Resolutions are pointless because they’re not tied to a linear system to create practices that make them happen. Most people don’t stick to resolutions and end up feeling more defeated when they can’t.
So, they dummy down real goal setting to things like, “I won’t swear.” Or “I’ll lose 5 pounds.” Or “I’ll get that project finished on time.” These are simply notions. All of these are not tied to defined values or a mindset and plan that changes habits. They likely will not occur either. More defeat.
It makes me sad to watch great people undercut their happiness.
This week my clients do something else. They use a tool to guide them through a healthy reflection...
No More Doubt - This is for You!
Everyone is carrying their own version of, “I’m not good enough” which deep down means “I’m not lovable.” Some people have had this message reinforced more than is reasonable.
What if you could turn down the volume on that message to allow for a message to emerge from your core, not your protected self?
What if you could stop identifying with things that happened in the past and allow for who you are without that situation to step forward and direct your thoughts?
What if you could be the one person who shows a difficult person that they matter today?
Thoughts lead to feelings that lead to actions. Honor the feelings so as to release them. In that space you are the creator of new thoughts.
Thoughts are not edicts. They are energy. We choose our thoughts. New thoughts will lead to new feelings. And there’s no limit to the actions you’ll take there. You’re ready.
When you put down the heavy...