Not in Your Resume
People ask me all the time to look at their resume to which I suggest they step back and craft a resume based on a career plan that takes into account their transferable skills, measurable key accomplishments and fits into an overall comprehensive structure that ties together companies that match your values, ways to market your value proposition and a voice that speaks your unique career stories.
This is the document I give my clients to help create that synergy. Don’t have an accidental career. Often more planning goes into a vacation than a 40 year career or a 90 year life. Success is freedom. Not more hours. You deserve fulfillment.
I am giving away this new executive career planning tool I give to my clients because so many people are suffering with anxiety about the future right now and need direction. Don't wander without direction. Be purposeful. >>> Eight Tip Career Plan When You're Not Sure What Industry or Position.
If...
Psychological Safety at Work
When a team feels they have psychological safety at work they’re not experiencing cynicism, personal agendas, bureaucracy and posturing. It’s up to us as leaders to provide that.
How?
By working on ourselves. The answer is not in a book or a training or a conference. It’s inside of you.
When we can go into the dark corners of our lives and root out what holds us back - what makes us insecure, we stop doing and tolerating these culture killing and self-defeating behaviors.
When we can stand our self-doubt up against our courage we make space for the truth - that we are all human and better when we support each other.
When we can accept that we’re not perfect especially in the face of regret, we soften to ourselves and then to others.
Nothing is permanent. We’re all a work in progress.
The human condition is happy when it feels safe and accepted. You deserve to be safe. You deserve the promotion or new job. You deserve...
Releasing What No Longer Serves You
Releasing what no longer serves you it is harder than seeking what does because the answer is inside us, not external. It is far easier to blame and look outside of ourselves for a reason than own our part in the chaos.
Release requires awareness and humility. It demands giving up control. It calls us to name what we’re feeling that is in the way. It insists that we stand naked with vulnerability and say, “This is scary. I feel alone and without power here.” And then you breathe. And breathe again. And breathe again. And you realize the world didn’t end, you’re still alive and that something has changed. You feel lighter.
And you ask yourself why you didn’t do that earlier. Why you wasted so much time in misery. It’s because you weren’t ready.
Wishing you readiness today.
If you want more executive presence tips here’s a link to my FREE report: 31 Success Practices for Leaders in the High Stakes Corporate...
Lack of Boundaries Kills Dreams
Short and sweet today because enough said in a few words.
You know someone has poor boundaries when they expect far more than they give and you end up feeling that you’re not enough. We have to draw boundaries around ourselves for our own self-preservation, executive presence and sanity. Boundaries start with being able to say, “No” or removing yourself from a conversation that goes nowhere.
Don't show them your worst side in defense of what is not yours to own. Don't let them shed their pain on you. It's not about you. You need not respond at all. Silence says everything.
If you want more executive presence tips here’s a link to my FREE report: 31 Success Practices for Leaders in the High Stakes Corporate World
Your coach,
Mary Lee
P.S. Feel free to forward this email to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life looking for a hand to hold. Sometimes we must be the...
Do you feel invisible to senior leadership - and in your personal life?
You have worked yourself to the point of exhaustion and you’re done with feeling undervalued. Top leaders seem to pass you over time and time again only to promote and give opportunities to those with less experience and results. You’re getting resentful and noticing it affects your relationships, your weight and your sleep.
You’re starting to believe you waited too long to make a career move. You think you've wasted time not developing transferable skills. You’ve been passed over so many times that you believe you aren’t relevant anymore. You figure you are stuck where you are forever so maybe you should just give up on your dreams.
My peronal mission is to see leaders with great character not have to doubt themselves any more - to help them rise to understand their inner wisdom and how to position it to thrive at work and in life.
In February I am opening 6 spots to join my new signature program - Corner Office Freedom -...
The Call at the Door
Did you ever see images like this one and say, “but I really do want that promotion (new job, better relationships with my team, love in my life, connection with my family, etc.)”
“…it isn’t your door” doesn’t only mean that the door isn’t right. It also means that maybe you’re not in the right space to open that particular door. Maybe you’re more positioned to open doors that are congruous with the energy you put out in the world - doubt doors, undervalued doors, not good enough doors.
Those doors typically lead to more of the same - frustration, self-sabotage, perfectionism, disappointment, frayed relationships.
Achievers believe that if they just work harder things will get better because that strategy always served them. The truth is that plan, while a tenet of good character, isn’t a differentiator at the executive level. Everyone works hard there. And sometimes people who aren’t even...
The One Thing That is Missing
Dear Friend,
Have you ever really wanted something and yet allowed roadblock excuses to stand in the way? “I won’t have time?” “It’ll put too much pressure on me.” “It won’t work out so I don’t even want to try because I’ll be disappointed.”
Then the defeat we expect in remaining “safe” becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because we just put out negative energy surrounding the very thing we want, attracting the excuse we lay in the path of our desire.
This cycle is dreadfully repetitive and becomes a habit. We think intention is action yet it in this case it’s denial. And the more time we spend in this cycle the more we begin to feel like there’s something wrong with us, that it’s never going to change and it starts to effect other areas of our lives like eating habits, exercise, relationships and sleep.
The one thing that I’ve seen missing in clients when we start working together is...
This Shifts You Away from the Hurt
The shift to focusing on the lesson, not the hurt, is crucial for executive presence. It comes by way of building your self-awareness such that you notice your thoughts before you become them. How do we notice thoughts from a third party perspective instead of getting swept up in the emotions that follow? By training the mind to observe itself when not in a crisis.
Mindful daily practices train the mind to stay in the moment and not react with regret.
So build the discipline of mindful practices into your daily routine: read an inspirational passage, do a craft, meditate, take a mindful walk where you notice everything around you and not think about anything else, prayer.
Then watch what how saying or thinking things you used to later regret dissipates. Notice how the people you used to hate become subjects of study. Observe how your words are more productive with people you care about. Others will notice how much more you smile.
For more executive presence tips...
Shame at Work
When we experience shame, we live in constant fear of being rejected. Often we don’t even realize that shame is driving our feelings of not being good enough. And we become trapped in avoidance strategies we create to escape the pain. This leaves us in a perpetual state of unrest and denial of the truth of our power over our thoughts.
At work this shows up as edginess, control, lack of connectedness, and withdrawal. Thus robs you of executive presence and effectiveness. In relationships it shows up the same way.
It took me a long time to realize shame was behind my executive exterior. I was successful yet not connecting with colleagues, friends and family in a way I’d have liked. It took a lot of soul searching and humility to admit I felt unloved, unliked and unworthy after my divorce. When I could finally admit that, I could then be kinder and gentler with myself. It was a sigh of relief to not have to pretend I was anything more than I was - not perfect....
I'd Rather Be Happy Then RIght
If I learned anything this week it’s that we must cease our need to be right and then listen more than we speak. People want to be happy more than they need to be right. Though often they don’t know it. Be the “rent-an-adult.”
Be the leader who can set ego aside and view the situation from a third party perspective. Winning is not the goal if it’s at the expense of your or another person’s self-esteem. Being right is not sustainable if someone else has to be wrong.
That doesn’t mean to suggest that trying to reason with the unreasonable will build alignment - that arguing with fools will get you anywhere. Sometimes we need to walk away and let the masses isolate them. The pain of staying the same must be worse than the pain of change. The biggest fools end up in a diminishing group and ultimately alone. That’s pain enough.
Ask yourself this question before you speak: “Does what I’m about to say advance collaboration or...